The Problem with Fast Food
by ex-LongLongHair
Summary: Oh dear. Voldie has a slight problem....


A/N: Look, okay, I'm much better now. No more chicken pox. Although I have heaps of scabs and soon-to-be scars(no lightning bolts though, just call me Scabbers), I've recovered. But that doesn't mean I'm not crazy anymore. This is proof of that. 

# The Problem With Fast Food

LV: I want the Potter boy.

WT: Yes sir, anything you say sir.

LV: I also want some Hot and Spicy KFC.

WT: Yes sir.

LV: And a nice, big, bottle of Diet Coke.

WT: Yes sir.

VM: Hmm…Maybe some coleslaw?

WT: Oh, yes sir. Coleslaw is good!

LV: Oh, and I want one of those Pokémon toys as well…

WT: Sir?

LV: Yes! Pokémon will do fine!

WT: Yes sir. So that's one Potter boy, Hot and Spicy KFC, coleslaw and a Pokémon toy?

LV: You forgot the diet Coke!

WT: Sorry sir.

LV: On second thought, scrap the Coke. I'll have a can of Kickapoo joy juice.

WT: Sir? Kickapoo joy juice?

LV: Haven't you been to South-East Asia recently? More specifically, Malaysia?

WT: Well sir, the Weasleys-

LV: I don't want to hear about the Weasleys and their muggle-loving ways! Get me my order before I cut off you ear!

WT: Oh, yes sir. (scurries off)

***20 minutes later***

WT: Sir, the KFC didn't have (tries not to laugh) Kickapoo joy juice.

LV: What? No Kickapoo joy juice?

WT: Uh, yes sir.

LV: Well, then get me some yellow coloured 7-Up! That will suffice for now, but remember…(starts singing to the tune of Aeroplane jelly) I like Kickapoo joy juice, Kickapoo joy juice for me, I like it for breakfast, I like it for tea, Kickapoo joy juice makes a good recipe!

WT: Yes sir.

LV: (opening KFC box) Where's my Pokémon toy?

WT: Uh, they said you had to choose between the Pokémon toy and Harry Potter.

LV: Oh did they now?

WT: uh, yes.

LV: Why didn't you get more food then, or go out and go back in so you could get the Pokémon toy as well?

WT: Sorry sir, I didn't think…

LV: That's the problem with you servants! You don't think! You only do what I tell you to do! You have no initiative! Stupid git! (kicks Wormtail)

WT: Oof.

LV: You know, I don't want Hot and Spicy KFC any more. Go to McDonalds and get me a Big Mac, large fries, a large Coke and an Oreo McFlurry.

WT: Yes sir.

LV: What toy do they have in the Happy Meal this week?

WT: Uh, a Hello Kitty key ring.

LV: Ooh. Get me a Happy Meal as well. You can have the food but I'll take key ring.

WT: Yes sir. (runs off to the drive-through)

***20 minutes later***

LV: I wonder where Wormtail is…(Picks up Harry Potter figurine with moving arm, legs and head.) Hmm. Does his head come off? (Yanks on head) *Pop* Yes, it does. Now does it go back on again? (Places head on neck stump and thumps it hard Oops. I went a little too far…oh well, do the legs move properly? (Makes Harry do the splits) Yes, quite well, too! (Meanwhile, the Harry Potter figurine has a pained expression on its face) This will do quite well. Quite well indeed. Mwahahahaha!

(Wormtail comes in)

WT: Master, here is you food. (Hands paper bag to Voldemort)

LV: Oh goody. It's still hot too. (opens bag, and feels around for sauce) Wormtail?

WT: Yes sir?

LV: Where's my sauce?

WT: Sir?

LV: I want my sauce!

WT: You didn't ask for any…

LV: When I have McDonalds, I need Fancy Ketchup!

WT: So sorry sir.

VM: (Bursts into tears) You've spoilt TWO perfectly good meals for me tonight, Wormtail. It's not fair! You did this on purpose! You don't like me any more! (Blows nose on hem of robes)

WT: Sir, you know that's not true. I like you a lot.

LV: Oh no you don't! You just want my money!

WT: No sir, I really do like you.

LV: You don't! Admit it before I kill you! (Raises wand) AVADA KEDAVRA!

WT: Please sir, no! (drops dead)

Nagini: Sssometimes, ssir, you keep them far too long altogether.

LV: Yes, I do, don't I.

Disclaimer: Diet Coke belongs to Coca Cola Amatil, 7-Up belongs to some soft drink company (The Pepsi people?) Kickapoo joy juice belongs to some person, KFC belongs to Colonel Sanders? McDonalds, the Big Mac, and McFlurries belongs to whoever or whatever owns McDonalds, Hello Kitty belongs to…Sanrio? Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros, and probably Coca Cola Amatil as well (didya hear about that one?) Pokémon belongs to those Pokémon people, Aeroplane jelly belongs to someone…basically, I don't own any of these brand names, okay?

A/N: In case you couldn't figure it out, LV is Lord Voldemort and WT is Wormtail. And I wrote this in Malaysia, with Kickapoo joy juice and McDonalds Hello Kitty key rings surrounding me (well, not quite…) AND I wanted to eat some Hot and Spicy KFC. Oh well. Now, it's up to you to review. Only YOU can type something in the box and press the grey button. I wouldn't mind emails either. J


End file.
